COLOUR OF OCTOBER BLOG- I discuss the side effects (prt 1) I experience as a result of chronic illness, specifically brainfog.
Typically, we associate the phrase “side-effects” with a negative effect caused by a medication.
I’m on a lot of medication so naturally, I have a lot of side effects.
But they aren’t the ones I want to talk about, not the dry mouth, or nausea or the lowering of my blood pressure.
No. I want to talk about the side effects of living with chronic illness.
These are the ones that are the most bothersome. First and foremost- fog brain- sorry, I mean brainfog (see what I did there :P). But in all seriousness brainfog really is one of the most frustrating things about dealing with chronic pain. It can vary a lot for different people but for me lately it’s been particularly bad.
That’s why there has been less of these posts! My mind can’t think properly. I can’t process information quickly. It’s hard for me to form sentences that make sense, that express what I intended to say. It takes me 4x as long to write a school essay and yet I still might only get a mediocre mark.
It’s frustrating!! Beyond frustrating.
Throughout my schooling I’ve always achieved high results so it really sucks when I’m putting in the same amount of effort, if not more, and that is not illustrated by the final mark.
I’ve kept my marks up for the last (nearly) 4 years now, but in the last couple of months I just haven’t been achieving the same results. It upsets me because this pain -in- the- arse illness has cost me so much and now I feel like I’m letting it take my academic achievements. And it’s not any easier being in my final few months of schooling. Teachers are asking and planning for applications to uni and I’m like whoa whoa whoa hold up!
That’s another aspect of brain fog, not being able to process information as quickly. I watch a “funny video” on Instagram and it takes me 5 minutes until I understand it.
But this is the reality of chronic illness. And the point of this post is to really point out that when you deal with chronic pain or illness, it is not simply the pain you have to deal with, it’s all the side effects. And there are more side effects of chronic illness that I haven’t even touched on- like isolation, depression, anxiety,fatigue etc
But I’ll leave it here because my brain has had enough of a workout for today.
Much love as always,